This week on Weird and Wacky Wednesdays, Christmas may be over, but the spirit of mischief lingers on. It seems the season of peace and goodwill gave way to the seven deadly sins: greed, vanity, pride—and whiskey, which isn’t a sin at all. If anything, whiskey is the holiest of spirits. Let’s take a look at these unholy crimes.
For more tales of bizarre happenings and unexpected legal troubles, check out our previous edition, “Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume 297“
Whiskey: The Original Holy Spirit
Turning water into wine is one thing, but whiskey? That’s a miracle even the most devout wouldn’t expect at a Christmas service. In Florida, one man decided to play bartender to the Lord, dumping whiskey into a church’s holy water font during Christmas Mass.
His justification? Liberation—of the spirits, naturally. Parishioners didn’t seem to appreciate the sacrament remix, and deputies swiftly escorted him out, undoubtedly to reflect on his newfound theology. Sure, it’s blasphemy, but let’s not overlook the irony: whiskey, known for its purifying qualities, probably did more for that font than some lukewarm tap water ever could.
Maybe next year, the congregation will just stick to wine.
Want to see how strange legal cases unfold? Take a look at “Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Episode 325.“
Greed in the House of God
The Good Book warns against the love of money, but one Episcopal monk must have missed that passage. Arrested for allegedly embezzling church funds, this pious pretender swapped community aid for his own gain, embodying the deadly sin of greed with unholy enthusiasm.
The congregation trusted him to manage donations for outreach programs, only to discover that funds were disappearing faster than the wafers at Communion. The monk is now out on bail, and while he awaits judgment—both legal and divine—his parishioners are left wondering if this was a case of divine temptation or just good old-fashioned human avarice.
Whatever his excuse, he’s proven one thing: no one is safe from the allure of the almighty dollar, not even monks.
Fishing for Fame, Hooked by Pride
In the Bible, fish are symbols of abundance and faith. For YouTuber and Bassmaster Elite competitor Ben Milliken, they were symbols of fraud and pride. During a high-stakes tournament, Milliken’s catches seemed too good to be true—and they were. Competitors suspected foul play, accusing him of stuffing weights into his fish to bulk up his score.
Instead of feeding the multitudes like a certain carpenter-turned-miracle-worker, Milliken fed his ego, allegedly cheating his way toward fame. Pride, as they say, goeth before a fall, and Milliken now faces the wrath of his fellow anglers and the Bassmaster Elite committee.
Dive into more unusual crimes and the legal chaos they bring with our feature, “Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume 320.”
Miracles might make for great sermons, but fake fish miracles? That’s just tacky.
From whiskey-fueled blasphemy to greedy monks and fraudulent fish, this week reminds us that the seven deadly sins are alive and well. Thankfully, whiskey, at least, remains pure. See you next Wednesday for more tales of the absurd!
