This week on Weird and Wacky Wednesdays, we participate in the coronavirus excitement, by looking at three legal cases that relate to the COVID-19 pandemic from around the globe. First, we examine how not to engage in social distancing. Then, we look at the most hilarious type of theft followed by the most absurd reporting of that theft. Lastly, we look at how one lawyer managed to use coronavirus to his client’s advantage… just not on purpose.
Follow the jump and read more about this week’s weirdest and wackiest legal stories from around the globe.
Social Distancing?
With all the attention we have been giving to the concept of social distancing lately, it would be nice to see if people were actually complying with that. But… apparently not.
Take, for example, this couple in Florida. Yes, of course one example of people doing their part to increase the curve instead of flatten it comes from Florida. Apparently, they were caught right below a “no trespassing” sign outside a hospital. And they were going at it. Penis, buttocks, testicles, and vagina were all display for the world to see.
But the best part? The woman is wearing an actual face mask (though pulled down) in her mug shot. Seriously. If you are hospitalized and need a face mask, you should not be exchanging bodily fluids outside the hospital!
Speaking of Shitty Florida Actions…
Now we really have a doozy here, because this week features two special Floridians.
But in this case, I really don’t think it’s the guy who is charged with the crime that is the weird one. Safraz Shakoor is charged with theft, after allegedly walking up to a neighbour’s truck and swiping a single roll of toilet paper from a six-pack in the seat. All of this was caught on the owner’s doorbell camera.
Oh, but it gets better. The roll he stole came from the dollar store, meaning that the whole six-pack was worth $1. The value of the theft? Sixteen cents.
What jerkass neighbour reports someone for theft when they steal the cheapest roll of toilet paper money can buy… and leaves you with five more rolls to take care of business. Honestly, I can only assume that this crime was motivated by need. Which makes reporting it all the more weird.
A Weird and Wacky Mistrial
As lawyers, we are ethically obligated to do everything within the bounds of the law to protect our clients’ interests. And in litigation, that can mean using strategies that put our clients in the best position possible. Sometimes, a mistrial is a good outcome.
And while a lawyer should never try to get a mistrial, they inevitably happen.
But this case sets a hilarious and dangerous precedent for those looking to get one. Apparently, a lawyer in Manhattan was ordered by a judge to continue with his trial, even though he had a fever and a cough. You know, the symptoms of coronavirus.
And he got all the way to his closing address to the jury when he was taken down by a coughing fit. Which allegedly freaked the jury and others in the courtroom out so much that the judge had no choice but to declare a mistrial.
