Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume Twenty

This week’s edition of Weird and Wacky Wednesdays focuses on one thing in particular. As we inch closer to cannabis legalization, I thought I would break down three very weird, very wacky cases involving cannabis and the law. Because you can’t get much better than a super high person doing something super funny… except when they do it in Florida, of course.

So, in honour of cannabis legalization, read on and find out more about crazy cannabis crimes!

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The Worst Place to Keep Your Stash
There’s this amazing television show that if you’re not watching you’re doing a disservice. And in it, is a song called Heavy Boobs. One of the parts of the song involves the character singing about all the things that she can hold under her breasts. It seems that Christopher Mitchell was inspired by this. And although he does not have breasts in the traditional sense, he did have layers of stomach fat that allowed him to conceal his stash after a traffic stop.

In total, police found 23 grams of cannabis, a handgun, $7000 cash, and a small amount of cocaine. All of which was stashed in his stomach fat rolls.

What gets me is how the police were inspired to search such a place to begin with? And is this regular procedure? I’ve never seen an overweight client be asked to lift up their stomach to show that there is nothing hiding underneath. Here’s hoping this doesn’t set a new precedent. I suspect there are some issues with the validity of that search.


Start Low, Go Slow
This is advice that any experienced user of cannabis will tell you. The last thing you want to do is find yourself freaked out because you are too high. There are so many reports out there of people who end up in the ER, persuaded they are too high to live, when in reality they are just fine. Just really, really high.

But none of those reports is better than this one. Because while some people call 911 to report that they have smoked too much marijuana, not that many people call 911 to report that they have smoked too much, decline medical treatment, and then invite the police over. Oh, but it gets better.

You see, when police arrived, they found the poor man on his floor, claiming that he could not feel his hands, and surrounded by snack food. Goldfish crackers, Doritos, and Chips Ahoy! cookies. It was like Sunday dinner at my house. Alas, the poor man was arrested for possession after leading the police to his stash in his vehicle.

Start low. Go slow. Lest you report yourself for a criminal offence and end up arrested.

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Maybe Pot is a Gateway Drug After All?
At least, pot was the gateway to a host of criminal charges and an Everclear fuelled bender for one Ohio man.

After learning that his pig had eaten his entire cannabis stash, which had been left out within reach of the pig, a furious Chad Spohn downed a bottle of Everclear. He then went on some sort of a crime spree that resulted in several 911 calls in which he threatened to harm himself, and then was arrested for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

When asked for an explanation about his behaviour, his wife told the police that Mr. Spohn gets really upset when he does not have his pot, so after the pig ate it all, he just lost it. Yup. That totally checks out.

But like, did he ever think about just getting more pot?


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