Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume Forty Seven

This week, Weird and Wacky Wednesdays brings you the case of a teacher who was arrested for drinking while teaching. Then, we look at the man with the best lawsuit over pornography ever. Finally, a man who ate pasta belligerently.

Follow the jump and read the best of the weirdest and wackiest legal stories from this past week.

Teacher’s Arrest

I’ve heard of drinking and driving, but I’ve got to admit this is a new “drinking and ___” offence that surprises me. In Kentucky, a substitute teacher was recently arrested for drinking and teaching. Granted, she was foolish enough to consume four vodka shots in front of a bunch of middle school students. Everyone knows that middle schoolers love to gossip and tattle.

After she was ratted out, staff noticed that she had trouble with her balance, was swearing a lot for a middle school teacher, and was just generally erratic. Eventually, she confessed to drinking while on the job. A breathalyzer test was somehow administered (how they got the grounds for that, I’ll never know) and it revealed she had a blood alcohol level of over 300 mg%.

Which actually makes this just a sad story about a 32-year-old substitute teacher struggling with addiction. And she was arrested for it, on a charge of child endangerment.

Eating Pasta Belligerently

Let’s all just pause and ask ourselves how one truly eats pasta belligerently? What does that look like? Well, according to Florida police who arrested a man outside an Olive Garden for this offence, it looks like a shirtless Florida man sitting on a bench and shoving spaghetti into his face with his bare hands.After being kicked out of the establishment for yelling at patrons and demanding money from anyone that walked by him, the man took his pasta out and his shirt off, promptly squatting on the bench and belligerently eating his pasta.More folk hero than criminal, the man was arrested for disorderly intoxication and taken to jail.While in Canada there is no offence for eating pasta belligerently, there is an offence for causing a disturbance. However, sitting shirtless and shoving spaghetti into your maw with your bare hands is not enough to warrant an arrest. Rather, it is free expression of your artistic rights.

Best. Lawsuit. Ever.

An unidentified man in Michigan has filed what can only be deemed the best lawsuit ever.After moving in with his parents following his divorce, the man lived there for ten months, rent-free. However, as a result of a domestic disturbance that led to the involvement of the police, the man was kicked out by his parents. He found new accommodation and his parents gathered up all his belongings and drove them over to his new house. Except for his collection of pornography.Now, I know what you’re thinking: what’s a few Hustlers and a sticky old VHS cassette really worth? Well, this man apparently had twelve moving boxes filled with VHS pornography and two boxes of sex toys to boot.

So now the man has filed a lawsuit against his parents, who admitted in an email that they destroyed his whole collection. Also, it took a long time. I just can’t get over imagining these two people standing over an incinerator in their backyard melting dildos and porno mags. Just picture that. It will bring you weird and wacky joy.

The best part: the man claims his stash was worth nearly $30,000. Someone needs to tell him that pornography is free on the internet.

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