Florida Man Asks Police to Test His Meth
Ah, it’s always a Florida man. This case narrowly beat out another case involving a Florida man that might be discussed next week. That’s how prevalent weird and wacky legal cases are in Florida. This particular Floridian contacted the Putnam County Sheriff’s Department for the purposes of having his drugs tested, after having a so-called bad reaction to some methamphetamine. He wanted to press charges against the dealer for selling him bad drugs.
Now, in Florida where the state is harsh on drug crime, this is probably a futile endeavor. As this man soon found out. But in British Columbia the situation is a lot more nuanced. The Government and police agencies have been relatively progressive when it comes to drug testing, and some government officials, including Mike Farnworth have floated the idea of pursuing criminal charges where tainted drugs result in overdose deaths. So if this request had been made in British Columbia, where a harm-reduction strategy is more close to what is employed, it is possible that no charges would have ensued.
But the moral of the story is this: don’t do drugs in Florida. And if you do, don’t expect the police to help you when things go bad.
While I cannot imagine why anyone would ever do this, or how they would come to see the wisdom of it, an Australian man has finally won a prolonged court battle over implanting his bus pass into his hand. Meow Meow-Meow (I shit you not, that is the dude’s name) was ticketed for implanting the chip in his bus pass into his hand. It was alleged that he did not produce the pass, despite the fact that it was literally on him.
This certainly would cut down on the difficulty faced in Vancouver, with the Compass Card system and the obligation on users to have the card associated with them on them while travelling on transit. However, providing proof of a valid fare payment to the Transit Police is required, and unless the Transit police were equipped to scan a person’s hand, I cannot see how this would work as a practicality in British Columbia. The process followed by the accused in this case, known as “biohacking” is an untested area of the law and will surely result in a large amount of litigation. Maybe in the not so distant future.
What I really want to know is did Mr. Meow-Meow get that name at birth, or did he choose it? If so, why?
Let me ask you, reader, a hypothetical. If you could ethically and legally eat human flesh would you? That was a question posed by one strange man to his friends. Many of them agreed, and I bet most of them assumed the situation would never present. Think twice. It did. This individual, who chooses to remain anonymous for what I assume are obvious reasons, was involved in a motorcycle collision that required one of his legs to be amputated.
Rather than throw the limb on the trash heap, this person took it home, sought out the assistance of a chef, and cooked his leg up, serving it to ten of his friends. All of them knew they were eating human meat which had once belonged to their friend.
Thankfully, in Canada this would probably never happen. I say probably because cannibalism is not explicitly an offence in the Criminal Code. Rather, the Code prohibits the desecration of and indignities to human bodies and human remains, it does not prohibit eating human meat. So it is perhaps theoretically possible, barring provincial legislation or health legislation about disposal of neglected body parts, to eat your friend. But you probably do not want to be the person to test those waters.