Dogs are wonderful. Humans can be awful. Wild animals are predictable when you start with the foundational assumption that they are wild and therefore they’re not going to behave in any manner that is completely predictable. But the important thing here, again, is that humans can be awful and, in fact, they may behave in a manner that is completely unpredictable. This week we have stories of horses, sheep, a snake and awful humans.
Horses, like dogs, are generally wonderful.
Horsepower on the I-90
I just returned from Ohio. The talk among the lawyers I visited was about a pair of adventurous horses from the Cleveland police stables which took an unexpected journey, leading them straight onto Interstate 90, America’s longest highway.
The escapade caused a temporary slowdown in traffic, with surveillance footage capturing the horses skillfully navigating through the cars. Thankfully, it concluded safely as mounted officers managed to corral the wandering duo, bringing their brief outing to an end.
Noteworthy was that the pair handled themselves with a degree of professionalism which reflects well on the Cleveland Police. The identities of these spontaneous sprinters remain undisclosed, I’m assuming because they are underage.
Plotting with a python
Confirming my assertion that some humans are awful, we have this story of Stephen Glosser, 37, and Caleb Kinsey, 34, from Richmond Hill, Georgia, who face very serious charges after their elaborate and dangerous plan targeting a woman and her daughter, presumably because of a relationship that soured. The news stories are a little vague, but it appears that Glosser initially met the victim through a dating app.
Something went wrong and Glosser and Kinsey began plotting horrible things they intended to inflict on the victim and her daughter. Their scheme involved various methods of intimidation and harm, including a plot to use a large python to eat the woman’s daughter, leaving dead rats and feces at the house and finally blowing up their home.
Yes, they actually plotted these things and apparently carried them out, culminating in an explosion at the home in January 2023.
The charges against them include stalking, using an explosive to commit a felony, conspiracy, and possessing an unregistered destructive device, with potential prison sentences extending up to 30 years, if convicted.
Dolly the Sheep, 2.0
In a narrative that reads like a science fiction plot set in the rural expanses of Montana, 80-year-old Arthur “Jack” Schubarth has been charged for breaking a law few would know existed for his part in a bizarre tale of genetic experimentation. Schubarth, attempted to produce “massive hybrid sheep” by fusing the genetic material of Marco Polo sheep, a species renowned for their colossal size and impressive horn span, with domestic sheep. The objective? To create a new breed of gargantuan sheep destined for the trophy hunting grounds of affluent sportsmen.
Apparently, Mr. Schubarth owns a 215 acre ranch, which became the birthplace of these Frankenstein-esque creations. It started with the illegal importation of Marco Polo sheep tissue from Kyrgyzstan. Mr. Schubarth collaborated with an unnamed laboratory to clone 165 embryos, eventually leading to the birth of a male Marco Polo argali dubbed “Montana Mountain King.” This cloned marvel served as the genetic cornerstone for Schubarth’s hybrid sheep, produced through artificial insemination and sold using forged veterinarian certificates.
The endeavor was not just a defiance of nature but a blatant disregard for international conservation laws and something called the Lacey Act, which safeguards wildlife from such illicit manipulations.
