When it comes to our WWW stories, common sense often takes a back seat. Our stories this week push beyond the boundaries of public decency and leave onlookers and authorities in disbelief. I’m again reminded that the world is full of surprises, some more shocking than others, and disturbing things can unfold in the places we frequent every day.
“Handy” Escape
Mark Cowart is 25. The internet will not be kind to him.
He was found in a sticky situation, quite literally, when police arrived to apprehend him for “inappropriate behavior.” Cowart had been caught engaging in “private activities” publicly at a computer within the library premises of Vanderbilt University. His attempts to evade arrest were initially successful due to an “unknown substance” that made his hands slippery, providing him a momentary escape from the officers.
Local law enforcement had received reports of Cowart’s activities, which apparently escalated from watching adult content on a library computer to more overt actions. Upon their arrival, they discovered Cowart in a compromising state, leading to an attempted arrest that turned momentarily comical due to the stickiness.
Cowart was arrested and confessed, attributing his actions to personal urges. He was observed by at least seven individuals. He faces charges of public indecency, resisting arrest, and trespassing. Gross.
I can’t even…
It gets grosser.
A 60-year-old Texas man dressed in a kilt, Mitchell Vest, was caught on camera in the Antique Gallery in Spring, Texas, engaging in an act that takes ‘real men wear kilts’ to a disturbing new level. If you were ever suspicious of men in kilts, you now have grounds for that suspicion. Vest was observed perusing the store’s aisles, selecting various antiques and, astonishingly, inserting them “in his rectum” before placing them back on display.
The gallery owner, Susan Golden Fox, and her clientele were left speechless by the CCTV footage. Police investigated and arrested Vest who faces charges of criminal mischief for his actions. Items he defiled included a makeup brush and an antique bottle opener, among others.
Imagine if this fellow hadn’t been caught? And what other stores has he browsed?
Unsportsmanlike Conduct: 2 minute minor
Lots of behaviour should be avoided in front of children, especially when we are trying to teach them about sportsmanship and respect. Now, having read that sentence in light of the previous two stories, the hair may be standing up on the back of your neck but don’t worry. I would never leave you with three gross stories in a row, but this next one is unique for one reason: a cowbell.
In a not so surprising turn of events at a northern Ontario minor league hockey game, what began as a verbal spat between two hockey moms escalated into an incident leading to assault charges. The confrontation unfolded at the Marcel and Jane Labbé Arena in Sturgeon Falls, during a U18 game between the Markstay-Warren Wolves and Don’s Butcher Shop West Nipissing Stings. According to an independent witness present with her children, tensions rose when a mom from the Stings team began taunting the Wolves, gloating over a victory that had been years in the making, with the Wolves securing a 5-1 win.
The situation escalated when fans from Markstay-Warren urged the mom to take a seat and tone it down. The situation then turned violent when a Wolves’ mom apparently struck the vocal Stings mom with a cowbell. The Ontario Provincial Police, while not specifying the exact nature of the weapon used, confirmed that the altercation involved a handheld solid object. The incident, which occurred shortly before 1:30 p.m. on March 2, led to minor injuries for the victim.
A 40-year-old woman from Markstay-Warren faces charges including assault with a weapon, assault causing bodily harm, and mischief. Her court appearance is slated for April 4 in North Bay.
“More cowbell” has gone a little too far in my view.
