Ah, crime. Often real and scary, sometimes imagined and funny. And that is what we have here for you today. As autumn starts and the weather cools, we’ve rounded up some of the most amusing legal shenanigans, real or imagined. So, pop some popcorn and let’s recount the tales of citizens who were shocked and surprised when they saw these news stories firsthand.
Everything is bigger in Texas (Houston)
In the world of electronic signs, sometimes, things can go haywire. Over in Houston, at the intersection of Montrose and Westheimer, a sign intended to guide commuters decided to go rogue. Initially warning drivers, “Due to weather,” it quickly turned vulgar suggesting they “Go [expletive] yourself.” This lasted for several hours before a city inspector got involved and shut the sign down.
Houston Public Works said that this was not their sign nor did they operate it. They are actively searching for the owner of the sign. Bystanders probably chuckled or gasped, but a Houston Public Works representative seemed as puzzled as anyone.
They added, “the part of the sign that controls its message is locked inside an attached box,” suggesting that this wasn’t just some random prankster’s handiwork. Whoever was behind either had access to the box or knew how to access the controls without the proper permissions. Maybe next time just update us on the latest Astros or Rockets score.
The King and the Pants and I
Some fashion statements can be divisive, but here closer to home, a man felt that camouflage pants were not the right fit in Trail BC. So incensed was he that he alerted the police, declaring he was “offended on behalf of the military”. He felt that only members of military had the right to wear the stealthy patterns. At first he informed the local RCMP about the issue and requested that they locate the offender and remove his pants. Of course the police quickly declined and that’s when our local vigilante decided to take it to the next level.
He claimed he would remove the camo-wearer’s pants himself “under order of King of England.” The caller probably thought by invoking royal decree, he would gain approval from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The local police had a quick history and law lesson for him, noting that removing someone’s pants would be illegal, even if they were camouflage.
Sgt. Mike Wicentowich wrapped up the situation with a humorous touch, commenting, “Our officers did look for the man reportedly wearing the camouflage pants downtown but unsurprisingly couldn’t find him.” Obviously the pants worked as in intended and kept our wearer safe from being found!
The Enlightened Naturist Cyclist
On Sunday 3 September, North Wales police received several reports concerning a man being seen riding a bike whilst naked between Prestatyn and Colwyn Bay. Stuart Gilmour, or as he’s known on social media, “The Naked Cyclist”, found himself in a bit of a bind during his nudist charity bike ride. When halted by the police, Mr. Gilmour, ever the educator, informed them, “I’m a naturist,” and went on to explain he was “doing it for charity and also I’ve got the COP (College of Policing) law on naturism.” He said he felt more comfortable without any clothes on and many people did not understand that naturists lead a “non-sexual lifestyle”.
He added: “Once they’d understood who I was and they’d looked through social media and they’d checked the CCTV footage on the coastal road, they came to the decision that I wasn’t doing anything illegal.”
The Crown Prosecution Service stated that in the case of naturism, a “balance needs to be struck between the naturist’s right to freedom of expression and the right of the wider public to be protected from harassment, alarm and distress”.
I guess the Crown Prosecution Service never visited Vancouver during the World Naked Bike Ride.
As we roll into the new season, these stories remind us that sometimes, the line between legal and ludicrous is razor-thin. Whether it’s a sign with a bad attitude, a man defending the honour of an ancient king, or a cyclist in his natural state, our world never ceases to amuse. Until next week, stay safe, stay informed, and keep smiling!
