Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume 109

This week  on Weird and Wacky Wednesdays, we start with  a case of ramen-related revenge for social media harassment. Then, we look at what happens when you steal from a veterinary office without understanding how drugs affect humans differently than animals. Finally, we look at a lawyer with a very creative approach to a website biography.

Follow the jump to read more of the weirdest and wackiest legal stories from around the globe!

Ramenge

When I was a high school student, I dealt with a lot of bullying. And one of the things that I always worry about now is the impact of social media on bullying in schools now. Apparently, this led to a very strange food fight followed by an even stranger defence.

In a school somewhere in BC, two students who used to be friends began taunting each other over social media. The bullying culminated in a confrontation in a washroom, where one student was waiting for her ramen noodles to cool off. One thing led to another, and one student doused the other with boiling instant noodles.

At trial, the attacker claimed that she was “triggered and triggered and triggered” and had acted as an automaton in dousing the other girl with the boiling noodles. The judge didn’t buy it, and she was convicted of assault with a weapon, to wit: ramen noodles.

It Could Kill a Horse

A man is in hospital and police custody at the same time, after breaking into a vet’s office. Rather than steal the drugs that make sense, you know, the painkillers for small dogs and something that you could take without serious consequences, this individual decided to go big and not make it home.

He stole something called Isofluroine, a tranquilizer that is commonly used to sedate dogs and horses for veterinary procedures. But, apparently, this particular drug while effective on animals is nearly fatal to humans.

The man is now in serious condition, and if he recovers will be facing some serious consequences.

That’s… a bio

As a lawyer, writing your bio for your website is always a difficult task. You have to strike the right balance between relatable and effective, braggy but not too braggy. You want to make potential clients trust you but you don’t want to come off as overpromising or overselling. It’s a delicate balance.

Well, for some it apparently is not.

Albert Watkins of the firm Kodner and Watkins has a bio that tells it like it is. Perhaps too much so. His bio claims that he is “Self-centered, egotistical, and a self-proclaimed expert in all matters…” which, I guess, is flagrantly honest.

The bio goes on to describe some pretty gruesome details, including that his cross-examination led to a complainant in a sexual assault case committing suicide. I’m not sure that’s the kind of lawyer I want, but there may be someone for everyone.

You can read it for yourself and decide whether this is the lawyer for you here.

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