Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Volume Twenty Two

This week on Weird and Wacky Wednesdays, we look at two different assholes. One is an asshole because he did the type of thing only an asshole would do. The other is an asshole because it literally is an asshole. And then, just because Halloween is coming up, we delve into a little black magick and look at a case involving practicing witchcraft. Which, in certain circumstances, is actually a criminal offence.

The Trump Defence
Look, Donald Trump has had some recently lawsuit successes. Unfortunately, his legal success and his personal success have been the inspiration for a lot of common stupidity. Like Bruce Alexander. Bruce, fool that he is, decided that it would be a profoundly good idea to grope a woman on a plane. However, the flight crew, the woman, and the FBI did not agree.

Oh, and before you suggest that he was just another drunken idiot on a plane, you may want to consider that Alexander denied any alcohol consumption.

In his defence, Mr. Alexander claimed that Donald Trump says it is okay for men to just grab women by their genitals. You know, because the president does it, it makes it okay. Good lord. Here’s the thing, even assuming the Trump-can-do-it defence had any legal validity (it has absolutely none, in case you were in any kind of delusional state about that) Mr. Alexander is missing an essential element of that defence: fame.

Although, I guess he has now found it in this case.

Speaking of Assholes
Speaking of assholes, there is a gigantic one that has suddenly gone missing.

I mean, I am not in the least bit surprised that a gigantic inflatable colon erected at the University of Kansas disappeared. Yes, the gigantic waste tract is worth an estimated $4000 and is supposed to be educational about colon health and all that good stuff. But can you really trust an entire university around a gigantic poop joke? Even I would have been slightly tempted back in my misspent youth.

In Canada, the penalty for theft under $5000 is up to two years in jail, if prosecuted by indictment. Something tells me, however, that this charge would probably be diverted with an apology. So, turd-track burglar, get you a lawyer and save your own ass.

Ooh, Black Magick
True story. In Canada, it is a criminal offence to pretend to practice witchcraft. Yet another reason not to participate in a production of The Scottish Play, perhaps. But the reality is that the only circumstances in which these charges are laid is where a person pretends to practice witchcraft for the purpose of defrauding another individual. The language of the Code is ambiguous, but any other application of it tends to raise Charter issues.

Given the variance in personal belief about witchcraft, psychics, and the occult, such charges are rarely laid and rarely successfully prosecuted. If a person honestly believes they have psychic abilities, and they are not intending to defraud anyone for providing those services, the fraud charge is often difficult to make out.

But apparently not so difficult that it does not stick. In Milton, Ontario a woman has been charged with pretending to practice witchcraft after bilking some vulnerable people out of tens of thousands of dollars, allegedly. What’s even more wacky about this case is that the provision is currently in the process of being removed from the Criminal Code in Bill C-51, currently before the Senate. If the provision is removed before the case proceeds to trial, a good defence will exist beyond actual belief in the spiritual underworld.

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