Tune in to find out why all of these are part of what is definitely not the worst week of Weird and Wacky Wednesdays of all time!
Famous last words, if I’ve ever heard them. Now, just what seemed like a good idea at the time in this case is a little unclear. Whether it was the decision to go on a five-day MDMA binge, or the decision to fill a hotel bathtub with potatoes, one thing is clear: for James Johnson neither of these things were a good idea.
It’s not entirely clear just why Mr. Johnson felt the need to dress in women’s underwear (oh, did I leave out that detail?) and fill a hotel bathtub with potatoes. Nor is it entirely clear why the police were called to the hotel or how filling a bathtub with potatoes leads to an arrest. I pondered whether this was a mischief offence, but the absence of any damage and the fact that he’d rented the room rules that out. But I suppose we could just chalk this up to good old drug possession charges.
Still. The potatoes.
A man in Michigan, working for the Kelloggs corporation, has recently pleaded guilty to tampering with a consumer product. This was after video he created surfaced of him taking a literal piss all over the Rice Krispies conveyor belt. Yes, next time you eat Rice Krispies, you can think about how you may just well be eating a little bit of Gregory Stanton’s piss.
In Canada, we don’t have an exactly similar Criminal Code offence, but mischief would most likely apply. The penalty for something like this would probably be very stiff. But the part that gets me the most is the history of the Kellogg corporation and the Kellogg family. The company has a huge history of being involved with the old “morality” textbooks. These were the genesis of the notions that masturbation could make you go blind or make your dick fall off. I used to own some of those books, and they were a real hoot to read.
I’m pretty sure W.K. Kellogg would be rolling in his grave to know that someone pissed in his Rice Krispies.
In honour of the fact that this week’s edition of Weird and Wacky Wednesdays is coming to you while I’m in a trial, I thought I would include a little courtroom fun for your entertainment. Of course, you won’t have as much fun as one court clerk did. Matt Fowkes, a court clerk in the UK, has now quite understandably been suspended and is being investigated by the British Ministry of Justice.
Why, you ask? For having sex with a co-worker in the courthouse.
Oh, and not just anywhere in the courthouse. Apparently the two of them would sneak off into the video link room and fuck on the table in there. For many unfamiliar with this, these rooms are often used for witnesses who do not want to testify in the courtroom. Often this arises in cases of child sex assault victims, or people with concerns for their safety. I certainly would have a concern about testifying from a room with a sex table, if I were a sexual assault victim.
Apparently the terrible irony of this did not cross Mr. Fowkes’ mind. But next time I’m in the video link room, I am definitely going to ask that the table be sanitized first.
