This week on Weird and Wacky Wednesdays: Funny costume edition
Howdy folks! Buckle up, because today we’ve got three criminals who clearly skipped the normal planning step and just went straight to costume-and-crowbar. Costume season approaching, it seems like the appropriate time to discuss playing dress up. Here’s what’s said to have went down in these cases.
The Clear Plastic Bag Mask
In Georgia, a man decided his disguise would be a completely see-through plastic bag. He walked into a GameStop in St. Marys at about 1:20 a.m., approached the counter, and announced a burglary, wearing a bag over his head so transparent you could see his face all along. He apparently intended the plastic to mask him, but forgot that if it’s see-through, you’re definitely not hiding much. Tip: If you’re gonna mask up, choose something opaque and that allows your to breathe.
The Unicorn Costume With Crowbar
In Baldwin, Maryland, two men struck a convenience store at 5 a.m. One of them was dressed in a full white-and-pink unicorn costume and wielding a crowbar. They smashed a register and fled in a car which then crashed. The costume was later found in bushes. Police remarked that “a suspect using a unicorn costume … is certainly unique and not something we encounter every day.” So yes: the getaway outfit included horn, hooves, and hubris.
I note that white and pink unicorn costumes may also be worn by people who prefer a democracy as opposed to a monarchy.
The “Cardboard Box Head” Burglar
In Miami Gardens, Florida, a burglar whose disguise consisted of a cardboard box on his head burglarized a phone repair / display case shop. This box-wearing fellow broke glass display cases, stole a number of iPhones and cash, but his cunning mask strategy failed when the box fell off and revealed his face. The police dubbed him the “box-wearing bandit”. Moral: If you choose a box to conceal your identity, at least cut holes for your eyes.
In closing: if you’re gonna commit a crime, perhaps skip the unicorn hooves, choose a mask that actually hides your face, and avoid transparent plastic or cardboard box headgear. But better yet, don’t commit a crime.
Of course the stories above are based on reported arrests and do not constitute commentary on guilt beyond what has been reported.
Until next Wednesday, stay weird, stay wacky.
