One of the best recurring gags in The Simpsons is Bart calling Moe’s Tavern, asking for people like “Anita Man” and “Hugh Jass.” And while it is absolutely hilarious when Bart pulls it off, roping poor unsuspecting Moe into his game, the results are not as effective when people try these pranks in real life.
Take Andrew Leighton. He was stopped by police and due to be issued a citation for trespassing in a park after it closed. A simple enough citation, he would have had to pay a small fine and be on his way. But instead of doing this, Mr. Leighton decided to attempt to avoid the fine by giving the police a fake name. Ben Dover to be exact.
Unlike Moe Szyslak, who accepts the truth of the names given on the phone, the police immediately doubted the identity of Mr. Leighton. He took off on foot and was apprehended after a short foot chase for obstruction. The reality is that giving a false name like this when the police have the right to demand your identity can cause much bigger headaches than whatever it is you are trying to avoid. And, as Mr. Leighton learned, the police also have ways of determining who you are. So if you ever find yourself in such a situation, just give your name and do not expect the police to find it as hilarious as I do when I watch The Simpsons.
One of the greatest heists ever in Canadian history was the maple syrup heist. Another great heist that seems to occur frequently is the annual summer lobster heist. And while some of these food-related pilferings are massive, even to the tune of $1 Million in stolen lobsters, some people dare to dream. They dare to dream, but smaller.
Enter Kimberley Gabel. Ms. Gabel wanted a lobster, and did not want to pay. Rather than execute an elaborate plan aimed at stealing thousands or millions in lobster, she came up with a much more effective method: walk into Red Lobster, reach into the tank, take a lobster, and leave. A smash and grab, but for lobster.
And she may yet pull it off: Gabel was arrested but the lobster was nowhere to be found. Police were nevertheless able to book her for public intoxication. Whereabouts of the lobster are unknown to this date. It may be that they are roaming free.… One thing’s for sure. If Ms. Gabel ate the evidence of the theft, the prosecution will have a difficult time proving their case.
I can understand the desire to steal a lobster. I could totally go for a lobster right now, in fact. Indeed, the theft of valuable items or easy-to-take items is relatively simple to comprehend. The theft, however, of items that are not traditionally associated with value, and which are difficult to obtain always strikes me as weird. And wacky. Weird and wacky.
In Calgary, one such theft recently occurred. A woman walked out of her home and to her vehicle in her driveway one morning, to find it missing the passenger-side door. Yes, someone broke into this woman’s vehicle from the driver’s side, entered the vehicle, unlocked the passenger door, and removed it completely before walking away with it. Now, I know you’re thinking “Oh, Kyla, it was probably some super rare car that makes it difficult to replace a damaged door.” But you’d be wrong.
The vehicle was a Toyota Yaris. A very common vehicle. So common, in fact, that the addition of the Yaris to the Indian lineup made it the best-selling car manufacturer in that country. So who steals a door from a Yaris? The mystery is plagued with intrigue.
